Ask a Stoner ~ How to Survive a Hike as a City Girl
Matching-set season is upon us yet again, so take a deep breath and clip on your carry case keychain because it’s time to open your door. Whether your friends are about that #fitness life or you’re trying to get up and go for your mental health (so annoying how well that works), it can be difficult to transition from your duvet den into the bright and shiny outside world. Thankfully, we have weed.
First, you’ll need a few outdoor essentials no matter what kind of adventure you’re going on. While we’re trying to learn that the sun is our friend, we must also remember that it’s our enemy. That means we have to protect ourselves against it — luckily, I know the perfect dad hat to block the rays and keep it chic. Just because we’re on the run doesn’t mean we can’t look good. Additional stoned-while-outdoors essentials include comfortable shoes, a big ol’ water bottle (weed’s BFF), and a tote to bring it along. Oh, and don’t forget the SPF.
Now, let’s talk smoking. You’ll want to make sure your pre-rolls stay safe while you’re reconnecting with the great outdoors in a stash bag so that you can be discreet and keep people out of your business. Don’t forget a windproof lighter, too — a Bic’s not gonna cut it on a windy day. Keep in mind that many popular outdoor spots will be jam-packed with families and older folks who won’t appreciate you blazing their trails, so you’ll need to use a little discretion depending on where you end up. Try to remember the three S’s when you carve out a space — secluded, serene, and scenic.
Finally, it’s time to actually enjoy it. This one’s a trickier step than the first two, because it involves you opening your mind instead of just your stash bag. You have your spot, your gang, and a sweet view. As you inhale, let any preconceptions you have about the not-so-great outdoors go. After you exhale, take a second to check in — Can you breathe deeper? How’s the sun? Did you get the dopamine rush you needed? I told you it works, as much as it sucks to admit. Even if you just find yourself waiting until you can refresh your Twitter feed again, at least you got some fresh air that wasn’t tainted by your air conditioner filters that are long overdue for a cleaning.
Remember: the planet is on fire. We might as well try to enjoy it before Central Park becomes a condo complex.
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