Dear Rock N Can’t Roll,
I completely relate to your fear of rolling a terrible joint. There are so many ways for a joint to go wrong, and with professional pre-rolls now all the rage, the bar is higher than ever. When I first learned the basics of how to roll, a record storm left me and 1,100 of my closest friends snowed into my freshman dorm for three days. I wish I could remember exactly what videos I watched, but honestly, they weren’t all that helpful — I think that even if you know the basics of how to roll (which we’ll go over), it just takes a LOT of practice to really get the hang of it. Which, frankly… I never really did either. Luckily for me, though, my best friend is from Turkey, where she learned how to hand-roll tobacco into cigarettes prettier than could be produced, and is thus the best joint roller I’ve ever encountered. She rolled me every joint I smoked for years, but seasons change and student visas expire, and there comes a time when you want to be independent in your joint smoking. I’ll tell you how to roll with a few insights from my expert source and then I’ll open your mind to the world of my personal favorite pastimes: pre-rolled cones.
As promised, here are the basics of learning to roll if you’re ready to give it a go (I’m begging you to pardon my nails in these photos, it’s been a long week):
1. Grind your weed.
EXPERT ROLLER TIP #1: “ALWAYS use a grinder, like this Sackville beauty Clare gave me (a huge upgrade from the cheap, grinders I’m used to in Turkey – weed is no fun here). Hand-picking will yield a wonky, crooked joint.”
2. Take out a paper and hold it lightly folded in half horizontally with the shiny glue strip facing you on top, hamburger style.
3. Place a strip of ground weed in the bottom of the little boat you’ve created and rest on a rolling stand.
4. Pull out a tip and zig-zag the top back and forth a few times to make a “w” shape. As tightly as you can, wrap the remainder of the paper around the “w”, making a small cylinder. This is your filter.
EXPERT ROLLER TIP #2: “ You don’t want to roll the filter before you put the weed in, because then it will have time to open up and a loose filter will leave you sucking in weed instead of smoke.”
5. Place your filter flush with the end of the paper, at the end of your line of weed. Hold the paper steady with your pointer fingers in the back while you move your thumbs up and down to form the weed into a cylindrical shape.
6. Dragging the paper down with your thumb, bring the edge of the paper down to the filter, being careful not to spill the weed. Now, use your thumb to hold the paper and start turning it away from you until the side of the paper that was closest to you is now under the filter.
7. Keep rolling from the tip to the top to create a cone effect.
EXPERT ROLLER TIP #3: “As you fold from the tip to the top, you want to tuck the top with your other pointer finger as you roll to keep it aligned and uncrinkled.”
8. Keep doing this, trying your best to keep the paper taut as you roll (this is the part that takes the most practice, in my experience), until you reach the glue strip.
9. Lick the glue strip from end to end. Once wet, use it as an adhesive to seal the joint.
10. Tamp the joint down vertically on your tray with the tip at the bottom to settle the weed (feel free to also use something to tamp it down like a chopstick and simply wrap the top closed.
But, there’s also a much, much easier way — and one I utilize most often. Sackville’s pre-rolled cones come in the cutest colors and could not be easier to fill. All you need to do is hold the cone vertically, dropping weed into it while tamping it down with a thin, trusty tool of your choice or you can usually just keep tapping it down against the table and let gravity do the work. Again, you’ll do a simple seal off the top and you’re ready to go. Joint freedom at last!
Keep writing in with your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “ASK A STONER” or DM us on Instagram at @sackville.and.co to see your question featured.
Also, remember my pivot to video? Turns out, TikTok’s not a huge fan of stoners, and after having three videos removed in the last two weeks and the threat of a permanent ban looming, I think I need to stick to my roots as someone stuck in the wasteland between millennial and gen z and embrace the platform of my people: Instagram reels. So, look out for me there and pretty, pretty please don’t report me.