Dear DL Dabber, 

Yours is a situation that many stoners find themselves in – stashing Ziploc bags in dresser drawers and dirty bowls in sock bins to hide their love of weed away from the world and shield the smoke-sensitive. While it is true that many of us have had to smoke in secret in our own homes at some point throughout our journey with the plant (though “home” is a strong word for the college dorms I’m describing for myself), you don’t have to feel like a criminal. Instead, you can be an interior designer turned international super spy with one of the noblest missions of all time: to smoke weed. 

Hear me out: you can, and should, be respectful of everything that lives in your home – including pets and plants – without completely denying your love for the bud. Why can’t your grinder look like a little piece of art on your bedside table? And why can’t your bowl be a sparkling orb to marvel at? 

As for smoking without the smell, I have a few options for you. The first is the most obvious, and it’s to find a window and set up your sesh as close to it as you can. Unfortunately, sometimes this means you have to cozy up to the window built into the shower wall that only opens 4 inches and needs to be propped open with a shampoo bottle, as it did in my case. The bathroom can be a perfect spot though if you’re not picky, thanks to the often-included fan vents and availability of steam to mix with the smoke to help dissipate the smell. Another stoner hack is to prep your space with room spray before you smoke to transform the scent into something a bit more elegant. 

Wherever you are, roll a towel under the door and burn incense (or another competing smell that your roommate doesn’t mind) to drown yourself out as you blow smoke out the window through a good old-fashioned sploof – a filtration and scent-masking device you can easily make yourself at home. You can fashion a sploof out of a toilet paper roll and dryer sheets by simply stuffing them inside and affixing another sheet over one end with a rubber band. Be sure to replace it often to ensure the freshest scent.  

Besides that, try to find a place with a balcony or some outdoor space when your lease is up – the vibes are sure to increase tenfold. Good luck Dabbing on the DL!

Love, 

Stoner

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